Ryan Cole has just informed me that in every one-thousand grams of chocolate, there is one rodent hair embedded.

What is worse is that chances are you’ve already eaten it.

This wonderful and stunning fact comes to you from The Farmer’s Almanac.

Now let us think about rodents.  Everyone immediately thinks of mice and rats.  However, we should also consider chinchillas, gophers, hamsters, our good friend the gerbil, beavers, and many gnawing creatures.

Why have rodents been bathing in our chocolate vats?  And why are they not polite enough to pick out their hair afterward?  But we are jumping to conclusions.  They are not necessarily bathing.  Perhaps they just take a lap or two.

Why are the chocolate companies not making efforts to stop this?  Or maybe they have.  Who knows what other things they do successfully scoop out already?  What about the rest of the rodent?  Or maybe it is intentional.  Maybe rodent hair adds a little zip.

Depending on how much chocolate you eat, you may have already consumed a whole rat.  I know people who must be on their second or third gopher.